Indefinite
by hardly loquacious
Summary: Even when problems are resolved, questions and uncertainties always remain, often hidden within people, where they might never be answered. But maybe that's the way things should be. Post 4.24. Jane/Lisbon, friendship mroe than anything, with Bonus appearance by Agent Darcy.
1. Part 1: Agent Darcy

A/N: So, that finale. I loved it. Absolutely loved it, and I wasn't expecting to, so it was really the most lovely surprise. I started writing this fic almost immediately, but I've been having issues with it. I'm not sure I'm completely satisfied with it, but I couldn't tell you why, so I'm posting it, and hoping for the best. It's all going up at once, because while I've split it, I wrote it as a oneshot, and in my head it's all one thing.

Indefinite

Part 1: Susan Darcy

xxx

"Can I have a word?"

"Agent Darcy," Lisbon said, looking up from her desk. "Of course. Come in."

Darcy walked in, shutting the door behind her, smirking slightly. "It was Susan before," she couldn't resist pointing out.

To Darcy's amusement, Lisbon flushed slightly. "Desperate measures."

"You needed to get my attention," Darcy surmised dryly. Actually, it hadn't been the use of her first name, but the desperation in Lisbon's voice that had alerted Darcy that there was more to things than she'd thought. After all, Teresa Lisbon wasn't one to lose her cool over just anything.

"Yeah," Lisbon shrugged. "Look…"

But Darcy held up a hand. "I get it."

"You do?" Lisbon asked in obvious surprise.

Darcy almost chuckled. "Well, really probably not. But I understand it more. Red John is very different in theory than in reality."

Lisbon didn't even blink. "Yes he is."

Darcy resisted the urge to fidget. "Sorry about the whole arrest warrant thing." She'd been well within her rights to issue the warrants, but given the circumstances, well... It was always awkward to find you'd arrested a cop for trying to do their job. Not that Darcy'd ever actually done that before, but...

Now it was Lisbon's turn to smile slightly, "Hey, I did fake my own death, and Rigsby's. I'd have told someone about the plan…"

"But who didn't know who was safe to tell," Darcy surmised, watching the other woman closely. Teresa Lisbon certainly didn't give a lot away, but she gave away enough. Darcy imagined that working the Red John case was more than enough to make anyone paranoid. "Fair point, especially given that there's apparently another leak in my organization, which is why I've reversed all four arrest warrants."

Lisbon looked relieved, "Thank you."

Darcy waved a dismissive hand. "I'm certainly not going to waste time prosecuting you guys, not when the ranks of my own organization apparently need some scrutiny."

Lisbon winced sympathetically. "We've had our fair share of compromised people too. If it makes you feel any better, I think it's safe to say _you're_ off Jane's suspect list."

Darcy shook her head. She appreciated the gesture on the other woman's part, but Darcy knew very well what Jane thought of her. "I'm not sure anyone's off Jane's suspect list."

Lisbon sighed, "Yeah."

"Except you, of course," Darcy added slyly. Amid all the subterfuge and uncertainty, Patrick Jane did seem like he might have one constant...

Lisbon froze.

Darcy was about to continue in that vein (the relationship between the two of them absolutely fascinated her), when Jane himself walked into the office behind Lisbon. "Evening ladies."

"Oh, by all means, come right in," Lisbon said sarcastically. Darcy couldn't help noticing that, despite the obvious irritation in her tone, Lisbon relaxed as she spoke. It seemed that, in spite of his recent absence and questionable decisions, Patrick Jane was still welcome at the CBI, at least as far as Teresa Lisbon was concerned.

"Don't mind if I do," Jane said, brushing two fingers briefly against the back of Lisbon's chair as he walked past her.

Eventually, he stopped, leaning against the wall behind his former (and Darcy guessed soon-to-be-current) boss, dunking a tea bag like some sort of ridiculously formally-dressed watchdog. And Darcy knew exactly who he regarded as a threat. Despite his general proximity to his former boss, Lisbon wasn't the one Jane was examining. Jane should have looked casual, standing there, leaning against the bookshelf drinking tea, but he looked anything but. Darcy suspected his arrival had been deliberately timed. Patrick Jane did almost nothing casually, and he was currently watching her very carefully over his teacup, like a viper ready to strike if Darcy made so much as a single wrong move. Or, more specifically, if she presented even the slightest threat to Senior Agent Teresa Lisbon.

The protectiveness was obvious, but surprising, and not something Darcy would have expected from Jane. The man always acted almost detached from the world or above such worldly concerns. He was the indifferent observer of everything, apart from Red John. Except that there was one other person Patrick Jane wasn't quite indifferent to.

Darcy smiled to herself. It seemed the great Patrick Jane might be human after all. Her eyes shifted to his boss. It was harder to tell where she stood on the relationship.

If Lisbon was uncomfortable with Jane's general proximity, she didn't show it. Darcy couldn't tell if Lisbon just didn't notice what Jane was doing because she was oblivious, or because she'd gotten so used to this sort of thing that it didn't even register. Darcy would have bet money on the second option had it not been for the fact that the pair hadn't been in contact in six months. Still, the woman couldn't really _not_ know what was going on, could she? How was that even possible?

Darcy glanced back up at Jane when he spoke. "So, what were you ladies talking about?"he asked, his tone the only casual thing about the question.

"Discussing suspects," Lisbon told him neutrally without looking at him, opening her drawer to find something. "Unfortunately we don't have any."

"And I wanted to tell Agent Lisbon that all FBI action against her team will be reversed," Darcy added, raising what she hoped was an obvious white flag. "Might be a day or two before we get all the paperwork sorted to make it official, so I figured..."

Darcy watched in some amusement as Jane's posture changed almost immediately, albeit only slightly. Some of the tension left him as he relaxed against the wall behind him, obviously calmer now that Darcy had identified herself as a friend to his former partner. To Darcy's further amusement, Jane gave her the slightest of nods. So slight, that he probably didn't even realize he'd done it. Even more interestingly, although he was no longer on high alert, Jane didn't step away from his protective position behind Lisbon. Darcy was fairly certain that, while she'd obviously been assigned a lower threat level, she also hadn't quite achieved the status of friend. The idea intrigued her, particularly since Jane very obviously wasn't worried about her for his own sake.

Darcy'd thought he was a dangerous serial killer, completely self-aggrandizing and egotistical. And while he obviously had a more than healthy ego, the more Darcy watched him with his partner, the more she suspected that he wasn't quite as cut off from the world as he liked to pretend. Darcy couldn't help wondering how far the friendship went. She wondered exactly what Teresa Lisbon was for Patrick Jane. And what Patrick Jane was to Teresa Lisbon.

Darcy remembered seeing the two of them at the crime scene, Jane holding onto her hand, not letting go.

It had seemed oddly important somehow, for all that Darcy hadn't been expecting it. Like a crucial missing piece to the puzzle that was Patrick Jane. Darcy had thought he was Red John, but after today...

Well, it was a complicated case. But somehow, for a few minutes, things had seemed suddenly less complicated (although not necessarily clear).

"Ah," Jane replied. Yes, the ever-present delays in bureaucracy."

"I appreciate you dropping by to let me know," Lisbon added civilly. Darcy realized that Lisbon genuinely _was_ almost certainly oblivious to Jane's ulterior motive for barging into her office.

The impish side of Darcy's personality found that she wanted to tell the other woman what was going on with her ex-consultant, just see what Lisbon did with that information. It would almost certainly be either mock Jane or yell at him, or possibly a combination of both. Unfortunately (or fortunately for her job), Darcy's professional side almost always won out. "Of course," she agreed. "In future, maybe we can even work together." She found herself examining Lisbon carefully. It was fascinating, the level of loyalty the woman seemed to inspire, particularly from a man who didn't seem to care about much else. Lisbon had never liked her, for reasons Darcy was only now beginning to fully understand. Teresa Lisbon looked after her own. Even though Jane currently looked like he'd strike quickly and viciously against any perceived threat towards his partner, Lisbon was the one who'd repeatedly risked her job for him when he'd asked her to.

If she was honest, Darcy didn't quite understand why. With Jane, it would be impossible not to have doubts about his motivations, his goals, well... everything really. Darcy knew she'd never have been able to work with him long term, but Lisbon almost seemed to thrive on it. Still, why _did_ she work with him? Why had she stuck with him? Looking at past case files, even just the Red John ones, Darcy knew they'd had more than a couple rough patches, and yeah, the man was good at what he did, but he wasn't_ that_ good, or even _that_ charming. And yet, Teresa Lisbon was still firmly by his side, no questions asked. Their partnership was... interesting.

Darcy had so many questions, she was afraid to say, almost none of them professionally motivated.

To her surprise, Lisbon chuckled. "Yeah, maybe we should give pooling our resources a try. Sorry the whole mess didn't end up being more productive."

"All I got was a voice, which I'd already heard," Jane shrugged. "So, as usual, not a lot of leads."

"A lot of suspects though," Darcy said, seeing the frustration in both of them, and wondering if this case, which had clearly bonded them together, would end up killing them in the end.

"Yeah, there's always a lot of those," Jane agreed, his eyes suddenly hard.

"I even suspected Jane here, for a while," Darcy said to Lisbon, trying to lighten the mood.

"He told me," she replied dryly.

"Oh, please, don't rush to my defence like that, Lisbon, it's embarrassing." Jane added from behind her.

"Well, it was all your own fault that you were a suspect!" she snapped, turning to glare at him. "I told you that, _I told you _that if you'd just told the truth from the beginning_..."_

"What was I supposed to do?" Jane interrupted. "I had it under control, Lisbon. I had a plan."

Darcy was pretty she heard the other woman actual growl. "A stupid plan! All you r plans are terrible."

"Hey! You didn't say that when I was helping you solve your cases," Jane replied, raising his hands in defence, but leaning towards her. "I see the closed case rate's dropped a few percentages in my absence."

"Shut up Jane," Lisbon snapped, standing up in irritation (and to Jane's obvious amusement). "Don't even go there. And anyway, I meant your Red John plans."

"They're not _terrible!_" Jane muttered, leaning back against the bookshelf.

"Your last _"plan"_ involved faking a breakdown for six months, half-killing yourself, getting beat up on a regular basis and then arrested!" Lisbon reminded her.

"Exactly! And it almost worked!" Jane defended. "Except that _someone_ was just a little bit too clever," he said glancing semi-accusingly at Darcy, and obviously trying to diffuse the situation slightly. Lisbon no longer looked quite so relaxed, although she didn't really look angry, just frustrated. Darcy gathered this was an old argument.

"You shoulda had a better fake dead Rigsby," Darcy told him, trying to help lighten the mood with a little gallows humour. "You'd apparently shot two CBI agents in the CBI, Patrick. You had to know that'd get just a little scrutiny."

"Not a lot of unidentifiable spare corpses lying around, Susan," Jane replied sarcastically. "We had to make do with what was available."

Darcy shrugged, trying not to show her amusement. "I'm not going to apologize for being good at my job."

"I didn't ask you to, you couldn't have known," Jane said, obviously not holding her responsible.

Darcy cleared her throat awkwardly. There were a lot of unknowns. "What do you think about Wainwright?" she all but blurted out.

Lisbon winced.

So did Jane. "Yeah, that was…"

Darcy interrupted, not wanting to hear their awkward attempts to address their former boss's death. She didn't think that had hit any of them yet, including her. "I mean, do you think he was involved?" she clarified. If he had been, she'd certainly sleep better at night.

Lisbon shook her head slowly. "Red John's followers and informants are all unflinchingly loyal. If Wainwright'd been involved, he wouldn't have needed to be duct-taped to the seat."

"Unless that was part of the ruse," Jane murmured. Lisbon turned to roll her eyes at him. He continued in spite of her skepticism. "But I agree, it's unlikely. The real question is, why was he targeted? Why him?"

Lisbon looked at him, considering. "Because he took you off the case? Red John's attacked people who separated the two of you before."

"Maybe," Jane agreed. "But I'm not sure. He seems to want to change our relationship."

"Red John does want to get closer to you," Darcy said tentatively. "Or he did."

"Before I rejected him," Jane agreed.

"Yeah."

The three of them lapsed into silence.

"Look, I should go," Darcy told them, after a moment, realising that she had nothing more to say, and that the pair in front of her were probably not really in the mood to talk to her. "I just wanted to let you know that I've rescinded all the arrest warrants for your team, Agent Lisbon. Said you were undercover." Darcy didn't go into details about the looks she'd gotten when she'd suggested that one to her colleagues, but in the end they'd all gone along with it. Better than pursuing cases against cops who'd only lied to try to catch a serial killer and save an ex-colleague. Besides, everyone who went near the case was starting to unofficially agree that Red John required a little out of the box thinking.

"Thank you." Lisbon said with a genuine smile.

"Least I can do," Darcy said with an awkward shrug. All too aware of the reason why their plan ostensibly hadn't worked as they planned. She cleared her throat. "Still can't help you with the Vegas PD," she told Jane. "You're still on the hook for that."

"Meh," he shrugged

"And hey, if you ever need… I mean, you probably won't believe me, I know. But I'm not the enemy," Darcy added, trying one more attempt at extending the olive branch. She wasn't sure why, exactly, but she wanted them to know that she was a friend. They both looked like they could use one.

"Thanks," Lisbon said, sounding sincere.

Jane nodded. "Susan."

Darcy nodded back, still not entirely sure where she stood with him. "Patrick. Agent Lisbon."

"I'm sure we'll talk again," Lisbon said, standing as Darcy got up to leave. She realized suddenly that, although she didn't really understand what was between them, that the only thing to do was leave them to each other. At this point, she figured it was what they both wanted, whether they admitted it or not.

Still, as she exchanged pleasantries with Agent Lisbon, who was politely walking her to the elevator, Darcy had to admit, she wouldn't mind being a fly on the wall in Lisbon's office for the next hour or so.

She bet it would be interesting, and possibly answer a few of her questions.

xxx

TBC


	2. Part 2: Patrick Jane

Part 2: Patrick Jane

xxx

Jane watched the two women leave, still sipping his tea against Lisbon's bookshelf.

The two of them seemed to have come to sort of truce. Agent Darcy had offered friendship, and Lisbon had tentatively accepted it. He should have known that would happen; the two women had a fair bit in common after all. Ah well, he was fairly certain that Agent Darcy wasn't complicit with Red John (though it was impossible to be 100% certain), so it certainly wasn't something he'd concern himself with overly. Still, he'd keep an eye out, make sure that Agent Darcy was exactly what she seemed, a woman who was dedicated to catching bad guys, not someone with a dangerous hidden agenda. Not someone who intended Lisbon harm.

Jane considered his teacup. Obviously he needed to start watching out for Lisbon now. Even more than he had been.

She was too far onto Red John's radar.

He'd thought maybe... After he hadn't spoken to her for six months... It should have sent a clear message to the serial killer. This is why she was safer when she was ignorant of his plans. Trust didn't even enter into at this point.

Darcy did seem to be coming in peace though, if her little smile of goodbye to Lisbon was anything to go by.

He supposed that was something.

Jane watched Lisbon give a final wave and turn back towards her office. He braced himself against the bookshelf.

He didn't know what was coming. She wasn't about to toss him out of her office, of that he was sure. She'd said something about him being back earlier. And, okay. He was, or he wanted to be.

But surely it wasn't all that simple?

Surely she hated him for what he'd done, at least a little.

She didn't look it though. She was biting her lip, and almost smiling. "So, no arrest warrants then," he said as she approached, careful to keep his tone neutral.

She shook her head. "No, guess not. Good thing you were almost getting your finger cut off by a particularly large one of Red John's goons on the hood of a massive limo when Darcy arrived. That really backed up my story quite well."

Jane tried to relax; it was harder than it should have been. "Glad my extreme terror could be of service."

Lisbon shrugged. "Basically the entire FBI still thinks you're a lunatic."

"Meh," Jane replied, sipping his tea. "You don't think so, though."

Lisbon shook her head. "Not today. I think you're loads of other things."

"You told me," he murmured, remembering her voice as she'd yelled at him in the church. She wasn't going to give up on him though. Not now. Not now that he was reaching out and asking for her help.

She hadn't been able to stop him from apparently giving up and pushing her away. But he didn't think she'd ever given up hope, not completely. Not Lisbon. But it had been his turn to make the gesture, probably still was. Maybe he should...

She was only a few feet away. Jane stepped away from the shelf he'd been leaning against.

He could feel himself inching towards her. This was the problem with standing in her presence now. He had the craziest urge to move slightly closer. Maybe it was because he hadn't seen her in six months. He'd been away for so long, and now, all of a sudden, here she was again, right in front of him.

When he'd first seen her in that church, for a second none of it had mattered. Not Red John, not Lorelei, not his fake breakdown, not the fact that it still took him less than an hour to find her, not even the fact that she was sad and hurt. All that had mattered was that after six months, she was right there and he'd been so happy to see her.

In the church the pew had been separating them. And he'd been sitting down. It was easier not to shift towards her when he was sitting down or leaning against something (like a bookshelf). The furniture was something solid, fixed, a convenient reminder. Still, even sitting in the church he'd leaned close to speak his secret next to her ear. She'd let him, even as she'd barely looked at him. But that was okay, he'd watched her more than enough to make up for that.

He'd watched her heart try not to break, and he knew that sorry wouldn't be enough (probably nothing would be; he'd never be able to pay back what he'd owed).

Then he'd left. He'd been too selfish, and too scared to stay, not even for another minute. Eventually, even the pew wouldn't have been enough of a barrier. He'd needed to remind himself of how things stood.

The next time he'd seen her, she'd invited him into her office, with that soft, welcoming, _understanding_ voice of hers. And he hadn't been able to stop himself from wrapping himself around her. There'd been so much momentum, and so much emotion, and stress, and... And she'd trusted him.

After that when he'd been near her, he'd made sure he'd always been sitting, or leaning, or _something_. Something that made it easier not to drift.

Easier, but not impossible. At least, not for parts of him. (His hands seemed to have a will of their own today.)

Now they were both standing together in her office, and he was drifting again.

He'd been all alone for so long, letting himself fall apart. He'd really let everything fall apart. Everything had changed now. Except her.

She was still here. Mostly. He knew he wasn't completely forgiven. If he was honest, he didn't quite understand why she wasn't angrier. He half expected another eruption like he'd gotten in the church any moment now.

Jane didn't know what was going on through her head. He wanted to find out. He wanted to find out how she was doing, check that she was okay. He wanted...

He wanted to make her tea.

"Are you alright?" he asked softly.

Lisbon smirked. "Shouldn't I be asking you that question?"

Jane shook his head as he reached a hand towards her, unable to resist any longer; he trailed a finger along her wrist. "You were the one who almost got shot."

"You didn't shoot me," Lisbon said in exasperation. "That was the point."

"Fine, you were the one who put their job on the line then," Jane murmured.

She shrugged. "Already did that once to try and get Red John. Besides, I still have my job."

"Hmm," Jane muttered, still trailing his finger along her wrist. Why was she making this difficult? Why couldn't she just... He was trying.

He was trying to make her less sad. He was trying to watch out for her. She would need careful protection. Red John was thinking about making her a toy.

Jane wouldn't allow that.

He'd have to be very careful what his next move was. It would need to be carefully designed to put Lisbon in less danger. He slipped his fingers against hers.

Jane hesitated, "Lisbon, about the last six months..."

"You mean your stupid plan?" Lisbon asked, suddenly angry and sliding her hand away.

Jane could feel himself turning towards her in response, getting just slightly closer. Damn it. They both needed to sit down again. "I didn't mean to..."

She cut him off. "No, I suppose I was just an unfortunate casualty."

"Look," Jane murmured.

"You couldn't possibly have told me what you were up to," Lisbon continued, ignoring him. "Not even once, not a single message. Couldn't have eased my worry even a little. You know what, never mind. You really are the biggest jerk."

"I said I was sorry," Jane said softly, feeling the same pain in his gut that he had when she'd yelled at him in the church. She'd been hurt, as he'd known she would be. He hadn't wanted to hurt her. He'd just wanted to catch Red John. He shifted even closer.

"Whatever," Lisbon muttered, taking a half a step back and very obviously not looking up at him. "It was a horrible plan."

He reached for the sleeve of Lisbon's jacket, just briefly. He had a sudden urge to make it better, to fix it. But he didn't know how. Not without making a promise he couldn't keep. And that he wouldn't do.

"All of your plans are horrible," Lisbon grumbled, more to herself than anything.

Jane almost smiled. Almost. "You still go along with them," he said, still softly.

Lisbon shrugged. "Because it's better than the alternative."

"See now." Jane murmured encouragingly, pleased that she seemed to find helping him preferable than leaving him to his own devices, even if he didn't deserve that degree of loyalty. He wished he had more to offer in return.

He watched Lisbon's shoulders soften, even as she still refused to look at him. "I still hate you."

"I know," Jane agreed easily.

"Good." Lisbon said brusquely.

Jane's felt a wave of affection for the woman in front of him. He hadn't expected to find someone like her, but now that he had... He couldn't make promises, even with regards to his own safety, but there might be something he could give her. "I could teach you techniques to help you sleep."

That earned him another glare. "If you even think about hypnotizing me right now, I swear to god, Jane..."

He placed a hand on the small of her back. "No," he assured her quietly. "No, nothing like that. Breathing techniques, that sort of thing."

She looked away from him, but he caught the flash of pain in her eyes now that the anger was gone. She was really so close. Oh, he'd missed her. It would be so easy to pull her into his arms. So easy...

When she finally looked up again, the pain had been replaced with determination. "So, Lorelei?"

Jane told himself that he should have expected this. "The woman I slept with after she bailed me out of jail, on Red John's orders," he summarized, his chest tightening.

"Did you know who she was when..." Lisbon asked softly.

"Of course not," Jane said. "Not for sure. I suspected Red John might try to contact me, but I didn't know how, or by who. I admit, I did pretty much wonder with every new person I met, but..."

"Okay," Lisbon replied with a decisive nod. "I'm not gonna say you can't question her because of your relationship," Jane looked at her sharply, annoyed at the hidden warning, but she continued. "I know that would be pointless anyway. Just, when you talk to her, you've gotta talk to her like she's a suspect. Use your connection to her, fine. But if at any point I think that you're going soft on her, or you're going to let her go, or she's playing _you_..."

"I'll be playing her, don't worry," Jane assured her.

"Just like you played Erica Flynn?" Lisbon asked sharply.

Jane stepped back. He should have expected that. "That's different."

She didn't back down. "How?"

He tried for the joke. "We won't let Lorelei out of jail, no matter what she offers."

But Lisbon didn't laugh. "Jane..."

He decided to lay it out on the table. "Does part of me wish that she wasn't in Red John's employ?" Jane asked. "Yes, absolutely. I did like her. But Lisbon, she is one of Red John's people, so no, I'm not gonna fall for what she's selling."

"We'll see," Lisbon murmured.

"Besides," Jane added, stepping closer again without realizing. "I'll have you to look after me?" To his annoyance, he realized what had been meant as a statement came out as a question.

He watched her watch him, obviously trying to decide if what he was saying was the truth.

"I didn't say no before, you really think I'm going to now?" she asked sarcastically after a moment.

The relief he felt wasn't surprising. He'd expected it, just as he'd expected her answer, but she was hurt, and he had to remember that. Plus, he knew that she didn't quite understand.

He played game upon game upon game. He'd pretended to shoot her. He'd pointed a gun at her and fired. It'd been terrifying. Even if he knew that none of the bullets pierce her skin. Even if he knew that... That he wouldn't kill her, wouldn't be responsible for her death. Not directly anyway. He'd known what his plan was dragging her into what could have been mortal danger. He'd been frightened.

Were they really going to pretend that he didn't remember what he'd said to her?

Whether she believed his apparent memory lapse or not (and Jane had his doubts), he had to pretend. He couldn't afford complications right now; neither of them could. Even if the words had been...

Jane shut down that line of thinking and made sure to keep his voice light and even. "I admit, the possibility that Lorelei worked for Red John had occurred to me, Lisbon. That was the basis of my entire plan after all. But I didn't _know_..."

Lisbon sighed in exasperation, "_Jane_."

He ignored the warning in her tone, continuing on with apparent cheer. "It was unbelievably tempting to believe that a beautiful woman might want me, even knowing how screwed up I was."

He heard her gasp in the suddenly quiet room. Then she looked away again, "I can understand that," she said, her voice low.

He reached a hand out again without realizing it, this time landing on her elbow.

Unlike when he'd done it earlier, this time Lisbon tensed.

Jane wished that he wasn't such a coward. He'd wished it earlier too, when she'd asked him her question.

She terrified him sometimes. And she made him happy. Often unintentionally.

And he didn't want her to leave. He wanted to make her a little bit less sad, especially after all that he'd done to her.

The worst part was, any minute now, she'd be coming up with a convenient excuse to get him out of her office. She was going to ask for some time alone, to try to sort out her day. Heaven knows, she deserved it.

Still, he'd have to cut her off at the pass, "Do you want a cup of tea?"

He watched her glance at the teacup he'd set on her table. "Don't you already have some?"

"I could make more," he promised.

Jane watched her hesitate. He knew it wouldn't solve anything. Things wouldn't just be magically okay again. Not even okay as they'd ever been. Tea wasn't a miracle-worker. But, well, maybe it would help. At least, maybe she'd let him sit with her for a while. It'd been so long since he'd done that. He just wanted a bit more of her time. The future was still uncertain, but Lisbon had always been constant. He needed that.

He watched her eyes suddenly brighten. She was pleased. He didn't quite see how or _why_, but she was.

"Please."

As he slipped out of her office, Jane had to remind himself that hope was dangerous.

xxx

TBC


	3. Part 3: Teresa Lisbon

Part 3: Teresa Lisbon

xxx

Lisbon watched him go for tea.

Everything felt so strange. Familiar, yet strange.

She wanted to be mad at him. She wanted to be _so_ _damn mad at him _that sometimes her body ached with it.

But she couldn't quite hold onto it.

_I'm faking my breakdown._

With that one sentence, said in her ear, in a church of all places, Jane had changed everything.

All the worry, all the panic, all the sleepless nights (she was so very tired). She still hated him, still wanted to hit him, but underneath it all...

He hadn't given up. He wasn't quite as close to slipping off the edge as she'd thought. He'd come back to her, sought her out.

Six months later than he should have, perhaps. Maybe far too late by most people's reckoning, but Lisbon still couldn't quite hold onto her anger, not even over the insane plans. Because the plans showed better than anything that Jane hadn't given up on the world. Not quite.

In fact, he was almost exactly like he used to be. Almost. It was shocking to see him in her office, fixing tea in the break room, leaning against the wall in interrogation.

In the interrogation room, with Lorelei, when Lisbon'd been questioning the woman, the two of them had found their old rhythm. Lisbon asking the questions, Jane observing, adding the odd question when it suited him. Even with Lorelei's attempts to throw her off balance, interrogating with Jane felt like nothing had changed. But something had, hadn't it?

It had to have.

He'd found her. God, he'd even _apologized._ And he'd meant it, he _had_.

She was still going to kill him though. How could he not trust her? After _eight years?_

And before he'd pointed a gun at her and pulled the trigger, and after he'd pulled her into his arms and held her tighter than anyone had in years, he'd... He had said it.

_Good luck, Teresa. Love you, love you, love you, love you..._ It echoed through her like a beat on her brain.

She needed to forget it. It didn't mean anything. They'd both been running high, both been frightened. Neither thinking clearly. She knew that.

At most she would take it as evidence that the last eight years hadn't meant nothing to him. That they hadn't just been something he could toss aside without a backwards glance (while she lay in bed, haunted with fear for his safety when she wasn't around to check up on him).

She could check up on him now.

He was back. And he was making her tea. Just like he used to, before. Before, when...

When what?

Lisbon bit her lip.

There was so much she didn't know. She didn't know what Jane had actually done for six months? She didn't know all the details in the limo. And she still didn't know what was going on with Lorelei. She didn't like it though. No matter what Jane said. He might get blinded, or too involved. He probably already was. And he definitely wasn't as in control of the situation as he claimed.

He _had_ slept with a woman he'd known could be one of Red John's agents.

He'd also faked his breakdown.

Exactly what else was he faking? What was an act, and what was...

Just how far was she being manipulated? Just how much of what he said did he mean? Lisbon spun in frustration, trying to figure out whether she hated him again, or herself.

She heard a voice behind her.

"It wasn't that I didn't trust you enough, you know," Jane told her, walking in the room with a pot of tea and a second cup.

"No?" she asked, spinning back to face him, and hating how hopeful her voice sounded.

She watched him shake his head slowly. "It was that I didn't think you were a good enough actress."

"What?" Lisbon asked, taking the cup of tea he was holding out to her.

"You had to be acting like I'd gone off the deep end, or my entire plan wouldn't have worked. I knew Red John would be watching me, and as a result you. Could you have been convincing if you'd known I hadn't actually given up on catching him? Would you still have tried to call me every single day?" Jane murmured.

Lisbon stared at him. Could she have acted upset that he'd left her? Would she still have woken up at two in the morning wondering if he was eating enough, or safe, or whether he was lying in a gutter somewhere, drunk and out of it? All of a sudden she was angry again. "How the hell would I know?"

"I didn't know either," Jane said calmly, glancing hopefully at her couch.

Lisbon slammed her cup of tea back down on her table, ignoring Jane's wince. She dropped onto her couch, clutching the arm for dear life and angling her body as far away from him as possible. Jane walked to the other side of the couch and sat down. Lisbon tried to answer his question. "Could I have acted worried that you were falling off the edge if you'd told me? You know, it's not like I haven't had any practice with that sort of thing already... with people who just..."

She shut her eyes, hating him for making her feel like this, hating herself for opening up the line of conversation. She couldn't talk about this. She wouldn't talk about this. He didn't care. He didn't...

She felt his hand brush against her shoulder before it was gone again. "I'm sorry," he said softly. "I'm so sorry Lisbon."

She turned back towards him almost in spite of herself. "Are you?"

He was staring at her knees. "Yes."

Lisbon watched as he set down his own cup of tea, picked up hers, and handed it back to her. She took it without looking at it, unable to take her eyes off his hand, which was now sliding down, finding her free hand, and slipping his fingers into hers.

She stared at their hands, remembering the now-familiar feeling.

She wasn't sure how long the two of them had sad on that little mount of dirt, Jane still trying to catch his breath, to calm himself, she trying to make him feel better, to reassure herself that he was still here and whole. That Agent Darcy had in fact arrived just in time.

That Lisbon had been able to save him, or at least send in the cavalry.

Right then, nothing else had seemed all that important.

Then Darcy had told them they could go back to the CBI. That she'd talk to them later.

Lisbon had driven Jane herself. She'd told herself that no one else had wanted to, that in his current state; no one else would know what to say. And maybe there was a grain of truth in that.

That wasn't the reason she'd done it.

She hadn't wanted him to leave again. Not even for the length of time it took to get back to their offices with Lorelei.

She was pretty sure she'd glanced at him every sixty seconds or so. Mostly he'd been looking out the window, or watching her.

Then she'd noticed his hand sliding towards her very slowly.

She'd (very casually, she'd thought) placed her right hand on the console between the seats.

He'd taken it almost immediately, holding on lightly. He'd never held her very tight. She could remove her hand without trouble any time she needed both hands to drive.

But he'd held her hand the entire way back. Even after he'd started making casual comments about the team, and the neighbourhood, and even Lisbon's new blouse. He'd held her hand through it all.

She'd responded in kind.

Because when it came right down to it, she wouldn't let him go. He might try to throw himself off the edge again in his attempts to catch Red John, and maybe she shouldn't help him. Not when he did things like go away for six months and refuse all help.

Maybe that path was futile. Maybe he needed to realize it.

But...

Suddenly Lisbon gripped Jane's hand tighter, refusing to release it, even as she set down her tea again, stood and opened the top drawer of her filing cabinet, took out a file and dropping it on his lap.

"What's this?" he asked curiously.

Lisbon settled back on the couch and picked up her mug of tea. "Look at it and see."

Jane set down his tea, and one-handed, slipped out the paper inside.

Lisbon felt her heart rate pick up, sure he could feel it if he tried, through their still-joined hands. She didn't care.

Jane skimmed the page quickly. "This is..."

"Darcy may not have been able to do anything about Vegas PD, but I could," Lisbon murmured.

"Jane looked at her in shock. "They've agreed to forgo prison time because of my association with you, give me probation and community service."

"Yes," Lisbon agreed.

"Provided I do my 'community service' with the CBI," Jane said slowly.

"Yes," Lisbon breathed out, anticipation building.

"Under your supervision," Jane added, looking at her intently.

She found a smirk to send him then, "Nobody else was stupid enough to take you on."

Jane glanced down at the papers on his lap, "This is real?"

"Bertram's already approved it," Lisbon nodded. "That scrawl in the corner's his signature."

"Darcy convinced the FBI we were undercover," Jane reminded her teasingly.

Lisbon bristled slightly. He wasn't honestly comparing the effectiveness of her and Darcy's attempts to get him out of as much trouble as possible? "For the faked deaths, not your _six month_ _breakdown_."

"You could have been more convincing," Jane said leaning towards her slightly.

Lisbon glared at him, torn between wanting to hug him and hit him. "Why do you think that sentence is so reduced?"

Jane shrugged, acknowledging the point with a stroke of his thumb against hers. "So basically, you've arranged for me to work with your team for three months, for free."

"Yup," Lisbon agreed, taking a sip of her tea. Three months. She'd secured him on her team for a minimum of three months. Three months when she'd know he wasn't off getting himself killed. She thought that might help with... everything.

Jane let out a near silent whoosh of laughter. "This is slave labour!"

Lisbon shook her head. "Oh, it is not."

"I'm working without being paid," Jane reminded her. "How is that not slave labour?"

"You're providing a valuable service to the state of California, in exchange for which, you're not going to trial, or to prison," Lisbon reminded him. "Your payment is, effectively, your liberty. The fact that you're saving the taxpayers money just means that everybody wins."

"I don't mind going to trial. That can be fun," Jane mused.

Lisbon shuddered. She didn't think she could stomach another trial. "Jane..."

"It's just the principle of the thing..." he grumbled.

She flopped back on the couch, slipping her hand out of his. "Hey, it's your choice."

She watched him out of the corner of her eye, as he eyed her hand. "You know I choose you," he said softly.

Lisbon allowed herself the smallest of smiles. "Excellent."

"Even if you're little more than a slave driver," Jane added before taking a drink of his tea.

"Damn straight. I own you." Lisbon said happily, snuggling into the couch and taking a drink from her own cup.

She watched Jane glance at her sideways. "I suppose this is the part where you order me to make you more tea," he grumbled.

"Maybe in a little while," she told him. She wouldn't mind sitting with him for a few more minutes, if he could manage not to be a complete jerk for that long.

"I can't believe Bertram agreed to this," Jane murmured.

Lisbon shrugged. "Why wouldn't he? We at the CBI are helping to rehabilitate a man who's lost way after being taunted for years by the serial killer who killed his wife and child, a man who has provided us valuable service in the past, at minimal cost to the organization. The plan allows us to catch more of California's worst criminals, all while relieving the American public of the cost of trying a man for a crime borne of desperation. At the CBI we're not just being innovative in how we catch criminals, but how we deal with them."

"_Teresa!" _she heard Jane breathe in admiration.

She chuckled, trying very hard to ignore her blush. "Bertram's not so hard," she told him. "He genuinely doesn't seem to care about right and wrong most of the time; he cares about the politics of it. What did you think? That I couldn't make a good political argument if I needed to? Sorry Jane, that's you."

She felt him shift slightly on the couch. "Thank you, Lisbon."

She shrugged again, trying to ignore the affectionate smile she could see out of the corner of her eye. "I know it's not quite that new life you were hoping for..."

She felt Jane's hand on her elbow again. "Hey, I didn't say I wanted Red John's new life, just that I needed it thanks to the fake breakdown."

"Oh," Lisbon replied, her heart thumping all over again. _Oh._

Jane was still smiling, though she couldn't quite look at him. "Not saying this life isn't without its drawbacks, but it's not all bad."

"Glad to hear it," Lisbon murmured, trying very hard to summon her anger at him for his completely ridiculous remarks in the last fifteen minutes and ignoring the pounding in her ears. Really, why did he say half of the things he did? _Love you, love you, love you..._

"Thank you, Lisbon," he murmured again.

"Whatever." _Love you, love you, love you._ Why _had_ he said it?

She closed her eyes briefly. Well, she'd meant it to be brief.

A minute later, she felt Jane take her teacup from her and nudge her hip until she was half lying down on the couch.

"Jane?" she whispered, slowly opening her eyes.

"Yes?" he asked.

"What're you doing?" she murmured, as she felt him take her hand again, rubbing her thumb with his. It was... nice.

"Shh," he whispered soothingly. "Close your eyes, Lisbon."

She glared at him, not ready to give in. "Jane..."

"You're exhausted," he reminded her. "Just relax for a minute, before you drive home."

She tensed. Half of her brain was objecting, the other half was pointing out that her couch really was quite comfortable. And whatever Jane was doing with his hand (and he'd better _not_ be hypnotizing her), actually felt really good. "Jane..."

"Just breathe Lisbon," he murmured. "There you go, in and out."

She sighed, and gave in. She was so tired, so tired. "You'd better not abandon me here, sleeping on my couch, for anyone to walk in on," she murmured.

She knew he was smiling. Damn that man. "I won't leave you," he promised. "It's not like I have any plans. Now, just try and get a little rest."

Not quite sure what she was getting into, Lisbon let herself drift off, comforted by the feeling of his hand in hers.

She still had questions, but they could wait until later. He'd still be there.

She still had him, for at least a little while longer.

xxx

The end


End file.
